My experiments with lies

As my time on this job and company draws to a close, it isn't a bad idea at all to think about how these (almost) three years have been. Well, I guess I'll have to unlearn a few things over the next few years and a few things that I've learnt here would stand me in good stead in the future.

One important lesson is about hyperbolizing. If you are good at jargon, using it carefully can have tremendous results in the short term. For this to work, you have to keep the interaction levels with others to minimal which is easily achievable in a tech. company (if it provides its staff with internet ;-)). Now, on one of those rather rare occasions when there is an interaction with others, like a team-meeting or something, bide your time and lie low for a few minutes and wait for an opportunity which gives ample scope for your tech babble, but remember to keep it brief. Generally ppl don't ask questions about something they don't know, so a lot of things can be passed off as facts. But some discretion is advisable. And its paramount that you avoid going to the board to draw something when you are not sure.

Middle level managers and colleagues hate ppl who take initiative when there superiors are involved. One has to avoid doing this completely. It is not always a good idea to have ideas, save them for your own company. Team leads love guys who stay on their seats and keep typing endlessly, find a good chat site or old DOS games but don't get up from that wretched seat to talk to your friend who sits two cubicles away... Use the phone but stay seated.

It hardly matters to most organizations if you like or dislike the work, their only concern is to get the job done. So, NEVER EVER make an issue out of work, its good to drop subtle hints but make an issue and they'll screw you.

As time progresses, it helps to keep expectations of others to around 60% of your ability. This gives you ample opportunity to supposedly 'outperform' yourself around the appraisal time. As for initial stages, never work at your best, show them that you are working, put in long hours, make documents peripheral to your work but as far as the actual task is concerned, never try to finish it much earlier than planned date. Project managers don't like to adjust their schedules, therefore, it is advisable to sit on your completed work for some time.

There is another thing about honesty. I've learnt that honesty is very important. And it is very useful too, provided it is used in right quantities and at right times. I can even go on to say that partial honesty is the best policy. Being partially honest gives you a lot of space to maneuver. In all difficult circumstances when a choice or an answer is difficult to provide, it is best to provide a partially honest answer and depending upon the future course of events, you can always adjust accordingly. It hardly pays to go up to your boss and say that you are finding something difficult.

It is also sometimes important to stay back after office hours when the deadlines are approaching regardless of the status of the work, it gives an air of commitment to you.

While planning, some managers ask for 'specific unknown issues' that can arise and you won't be an expert unless you can provide the estimated time taking into account these specific unknown issues. And teamwork is a lot about doing what the team lead says.

Be in good terms with 'quality', throughout the year the boss will concur that it is a pain, but come appraisal time and he'll kill you with this double edged sword.

And it is important to laugh at manager's jokes.

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Disclaimer: Results vary with these approaches depending upon your confidence and personality. If all else fails, you can try plain old hard work instead...